The material for this article has been taken from the lecture of Dr. Jamal Badawi. I have also taken some material from Dr. Zakir Naik’s book as well.
Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny, where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.
A lot of objections over the years have been made on Islamic teachings, practices and also on the personality of the prophet (peace be upon him). One of these criticism is that how could the prophet (peace be upon him) be accepted as a prophet if he married several women; this act alone excludes someone from being a prophet, because this is not a characteristic of a prophet, but rather a trait of someone who is obsessed with women.
This objection is hypocritical in nature. The reason being that those who protest against polygamy believe in scriptures which allows a man to have more than one wife. The Quran is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it is the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures, one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one. Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives. In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one. Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (960 C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.
So if you disqualify someone from prophethood on this basis, then you should disqualify others as well.
Generally speaking, Quran assumes monogamy, but under certain conditions it becomes imperative that polygyny is practiced. For example, ten thousand people were killed in Bosnia; 1 million died in Afghanistan. In these situations, where there are a lot of widows and young girls looking for partners, polygyny is the only moral and humane solution. It is much more moral than the practice in west, where people have multiple partners at one time with no protection or legal recognition, and a person can walk away from a relationship anytime he wants.
We now focus on the life of prophet (peace be upon him). It is interesting to note that not even the worst critics of Islam can even point out a single sexual indiscretion in the entire life of prophet (peace be upon him) whereas these critics overlook the fact (which Islam totally rejects) that some prophets in the bible committed incest and others were guilty of adultery.
Furthermore, it defies logic to describe him as a polyandrous prophet as out of thirty seven years of his marital life, for twenty five years at least (some add two more) he was monogamous (i.e. more than two-thirds of his marital life). So all the monogamous period is forgotten and only the last few years of his life are remembered.
If someone is obsessed with women, the time for that is not in the mid fifties or early sixties, it is much earlier.
Also, it must not be forgotten that his first wife with whom he was married for twenty five years was fifteen years older than him. Hence, anyone fixated on women tries to find younger girls in his youth and not an older lady.
The prophet (peace be upon him) was known for his chastity even before he got married, and no one (he had a lot of enemies in his lifetime) could raise a single point about his chastity.
Anyway, if you look at the nature of the marriages of prophet (peace be upon him) you will be amazed at the humane aspect of it. The marriages could be classified into four aspects. First, he married and gave his daughters in marriage to those who were his closest supporters. For example he married Ayesha (daughter of Abu Bakr) and Hafsa the daughter of Umar and he gave his daughters in marriage to Usman and Ali (may Allah be pleased with them all).
Second, the marriages were to give example to other Muslims to care for those women who lost their husbands and had orphan children. For example, Umme-Salama’s (may Allah be pleased with her) husband died due to injuries sustained in one the defensive battles Muslims fought. The woman was left with four orphan children to look after. At first, Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) goes to her and ask her hand in marriage and she declines (she was a dignified woman and she realized that who would want to marry a woman in her menopause, and the proposal was more out of sympathy than anything else). Then Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) sent her a marriage proposal and she refused again. When prophet (peace be upon him) heard this he asked her hand in marriage and she declined his offer as well. When asked why? She replied that there are three reasons for this: firstly, I am an old woman, secondly, I have four orphan children, and lastly I am a jealous woman (she cannot be blamed as no woman would like to share her husband). So the prophet (peace be upon him) with his decency and kindness tells her that as far as age is concerned, I am older than you; and the orphan children will be like my own and I will be responsible for them, and as for you jealousy I pray to Allah to remove it from you. And Allah indeed removed the jealousy from her and she accepted the proposal.
The third category was commonplace in the tribal society, where the prophet (peace be upon him), in order to remove hatred and conflict in other tribes, married from a particular tribe. It is like a political marriage to save people from further conflict and bloodshed. There are a number of examples of this facet of his marriages. For instance, he married Umme-Habiba (may Allah be pleased with her), daughter of Abu Sufyan (who at that time had not accepted Islam and was an arch enemy of Islam). When he heard that his daughter was married, he became happy because in his heart he knew that prophet (peace be upon him) was a good man (and this might eventually have led to his conversion to Islam). He also married a Christian woman and more than one Jewish woman (after he freed them and they accepted to marry him). What is the problem with this? Some historians say that because of these marriages, some tribes accepted Islam and others’ enmity was neutralised. What is wrong with removing the possibility of bloodshed? Finally, there was a case of legal precedence and removal of a taboo which will be discussed later.
Another objection by the critics of Islam is that it is mentioned in the Muslim sources that prophet (peace be upon him) had a marital contract with Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) at the age of six and she moved into his household at the age of nine. The obvious objection is that an older person marrying such a young girl; some of the nasty words said cannot be repeated in this article.
First of all, the issue of difference in age is not a problem, there are examples, even in this day and age (where divorce rates in the west have sky-rocketed), of very happy and productive marriages with a big age difference; but, of course, lesser age difference is more desirable. In many cultures it is acceptable to have considerable age difference, unless it is an extreme case where a ninety nine years old marries a sixteen years old. The issue raised by the critics is that how abominable it is that such an old man marries a young girl, and she moves into his house at the age of nine.
If it was such an abominable act, a lot of criticisms and questions would have been raised by the enemies of prophet (peace be upon him) in Makkah. To the surprise of many of you, are you aware that Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) was engaged to be married to another man before the prophet (peace be upon him). What this means is that marriage in the Arabian society at an earlier age does not mean consummation. It was accepted in that society that a three year old son of someone can be married to a two year old daughter of someone else. The reason was that it was a gesture which said that we are close as tribes, clans or friends and we want to reserve your son for our daughter at a later age. What Islam did was that it made enhancements to this contract and said that one can marry at a young age, but when the couple reaches (or one of them) puberty, they can reject or accept the marriage contract. In case the adolescent person does not agree, the marriage contract was terminated. Therefore, it is a conditional agreement; that is why no one raised any issue on this matter.
Further, Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) was not kidnapped or molested (or whatever term they use), she was married with the approval and blessings of her parents. Would anyone give his daughter to anyone to molest her; and Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) was a rich, powerful and wise person (he was not a person whom you could walk all over).
In addition, people object that it is illegal because the age was less than sixteen or eighteen. The question is according to whose law? In the western countries, e.g. in America even until the end of nineteenth century, it was acceptable to marry at a younger age (girls sometimes got married at the age of twelve). It was later that states began to introduce some limits to the marital age to fourteen and then it increased to sixteen. In some places it went up to eighteen, or sixteen with the approval of the guardian. These are secular laws and Islamic law requires that both parties reach adolescence and if both parties are content with the arrangement then the marriage contract remains intact, otherwise it is ended. Also, to say that a girl cannot reach puberty in that age (in the days gone by) is incorrect.
In the era of Prophet (peace be upon him), it was perfectly normal for girls to get married at the age of puberty. This was a norm in all Semitic cultures from the Israelites to the Arabs, and all nations in between. According to some books of the Jews, it is preferable for a woman to be married when she has her first menstrual cycle. In another Jewish book, there are rules regarding sexual intercourse with girls who have not yet menstruated. Throughout history, puberty has always been a symbol of adulthood. It is extremely unfair for us to judge Prophet (peace be upon him) by the standards set by the people of today. In certain countries like China and Japan, the age of sexual consent is 12 and 13 respectively. In the United States, men who have sexual intercourse with young women will be termed as pedophiles. Would it be correct for the United States to label the Chinese and Japanese as paedophiles according to the United States’ standards? These are all standards set by the western world. Shall we judge our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) by the standards of today or by the standards set in his era? It is also proven that in those countries which have hot climates, people mature faster. This further indicates the maturity of Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) since the Arabian Peninsula has a very hot climate.
For a detailed discussion on the marriage of Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) please read the article on http://www.islamic-awareness.org/Polemics/aishah.html
Finally, some people object that prophet (peace be upon him) married the divorcee of her son. His name was Zayd (may Allah be pleased with him) and her name was Zainab (may Allah be pleased with her). To reply to this objection we first have know who were Zayd and Zainab? What really happened? Furthermore, why was prophet (peace be upon him) finally commanded to marry her?
Zayd was adopted (he was a slave and was freed) and not prophet’s real son. Moreover, Zainab was the cousin of the prophet (peace be upon him). She was not discovered suddenly; as some people imply, that the prophet (peace be upon him) discovered her beauty and then wanted to marry her. The point to remember is that they grew up together as children, and he had seen her before hijab was prescribed later in Medina. It was actually prophet (peace be upon him) who wanted Zainab to marry Zayd (as he wanted to change the aristocratic thinking, since she was from an elite class of Quraish while Zayd was a slave) to make the point that one should look at the character of a person and not only the lineage. So she accepted to marry Zayd. Later, problems emerged in the marriage and they did not get along well. Zayd complained to prophet (peace be upon him), but as any good marriage counsellor would do, he advised him to be patient.
Afterwards, through revelation the prophet (peace be upon him) was told that this marriage will end up in divorce and you will be commanded to marry her (after the mandatory waiting period of a divorced woman) to break the taboo in the Arab society, where the adopted son was considered even closer than the biological son. Even at that time he told Zayd (when he again came and complained about the marriage) that keep your wife and fear Allah; because he was commanded by Allah that he should not reveal this to anyone.
Zayd finally divorced Zainab, and then the verse was revealed where the prophet (peace be upon him) was married to her. Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her) used to say that if prophet (peace be upon him) wanted to hide any verse of the Quran, it would have been this verse. The reason being that it was a taboo, and it was considered incest to marry the wife of your adopted son. But Allah finished this taboo through his Messenger, as adopted son in Islam is not the same as the biological son (the biological son keeps the family name and gets a part from the inheritance).
To conclude, my appeal to the Non-Muslims is that please try to be objective and try not to get influenced from people who do not know what they are talking about. Those who object have enmity in their hearts against Islam or they are unaware of the facts.
Please also watch the video "Women in Islam Liberated or Subjugated?" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1suNCpa6Dc
In addition, please listen to the lectures on Prophet's Marriages (from L42 to L50) delivered by Dr. Jamal Badawi at http://www.islamicity.com/multimedia/radio/ch200/default.asp?inc=7.htm#Series-L:_Muhammad_(P):_The_Last__Messenger_of_Allah
No comments:
Post a Comment